Reaching Beyond Myself
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Not sure what to do??
Today's post is a departure from the March "List" post.
I'm rather troubled over a friend's situation and I'm unsure how (if at all) I should handle it.
So this post is an effort to somewhat vent and get some feedback from fellow believers.
Most of you know that my husband attends a Christian Bible College. He's one of the oldest guys on campus :) It's not uncommon for the "old fogies" to befriend each other.
During the first semester he befriended another "old guy", let's call him "Bob". Now Bob is in his mid-thirties, on his second marriage and is heavily involved in his church. Bob and his wife "Sue" are nice people, we know them on an acquatiance level. I've started becoming friends with "Sue".........OK so there's the history.......
The other day, my hubs and I were driving back from his school and he mentions that he's concerned that Bob is putting himself in a compromising situation with a young girl on campus, "Tina". I asked him to explain what he meant.
He continues to tell me that Bob stays very late on campus to study with this girl and they are inseparable. They have a lot of classes together and they eat and study together. Basically, my hubs said, where there is Bob there is Tina. Hmmmm, not good, in my opinion.
Yesterday, I picked my hubs up again and he told me he had a brief conversation with Bob about a beloved professor on campus. Bob responded with, "he and I are on the outs at the moment" Hmmmmm.
OK, that's odd, since this professor is considered the "cool" prof. He's in his 30s and a big hit at the school. Bob also mentions to my hubs that Tina stays at his house one day of the week because she is homesick........ which means that Bob's wife knows that at least they are friends and she is friends with this girl as well.
Soooooooooo, here's my and hubs assumption.
(it's only an assumption, we don't really know for sure ANYTHING at this point-remember all this info. I've gotten from my hubs. I haven't actually witnessed any of this)
Hubs thinks that this prof. possibly confronted Bob and this is the reason why Bob is mad at the prof. He also thinks that this "friendship" is extremely inappropriate.
When I asked him if they seem to flirt. His answer (now keep in mind my husband is quite oblivious to female flirting but was a BIG flirt in his day) is that yes, she, Tina acts all pouty and enticed by Bob and Bob responds accordingly.
Soooooooo, here's the question I am stuck with:
What, if anything, do I do?
Keep in mind, I've only been over to Bob and Sue's house a couple of times and have talked to Sue on the phone about 3 times. Do I stay out of it? Do I call Sue and ask what's up?
I would like to just stay out of it. BUT,
I think if it were my husband acting in such a way, staying on campus late to "study" with another girl, I WOULD MOST DEFINITELY WANT TO KNOW!!!!!!!!!!
What would you do if you were me?
I'm rather troubled over a friend's situation and I'm unsure how (if at all) I should handle it.
So this post is an effort to somewhat vent and get some feedback from fellow believers.
Most of you know that my husband attends a Christian Bible College. He's one of the oldest guys on campus :) It's not uncommon for the "old fogies" to befriend each other.
During the first semester he befriended another "old guy", let's call him "Bob". Now Bob is in his mid-thirties, on his second marriage and is heavily involved in his church. Bob and his wife "Sue" are nice people, we know them on an acquatiance level. I've started becoming friends with "Sue".........OK so there's the history.......
The other day, my hubs and I were driving back from his school and he mentions that he's concerned that Bob is putting himself in a compromising situation with a young girl on campus, "Tina". I asked him to explain what he meant.
He continues to tell me that Bob stays very late on campus to study with this girl and they are inseparable. They have a lot of classes together and they eat and study together. Basically, my hubs said, where there is Bob there is Tina. Hmmmm, not good, in my opinion.
Yesterday, I picked my hubs up again and he told me he had a brief conversation with Bob about a beloved professor on campus. Bob responded with, "he and I are on the outs at the moment" Hmmmmm.
OK, that's odd, since this professor is considered the "cool" prof. He's in his 30s and a big hit at the school. Bob also mentions to my hubs that Tina stays at his house one day of the week because she is homesick........ which means that Bob's wife knows that at least they are friends and she is friends with this girl as well.
Soooooooooo, here's my and hubs assumption.
(it's only an assumption, we don't really know for sure ANYTHING at this point-remember all this info. I've gotten from my hubs. I haven't actually witnessed any of this)
Hubs thinks that this prof. possibly confronted Bob and this is the reason why Bob is mad at the prof. He also thinks that this "friendship" is extremely inappropriate.
When I asked him if they seem to flirt. His answer (now keep in mind my husband is quite oblivious to female flirting but was a BIG flirt in his day) is that yes, she, Tina acts all pouty and enticed by Bob and Bob responds accordingly.
Soooooooo, here's the question I am stuck with:
What, if anything, do I do?
Keep in mind, I've only been over to Bob and Sue's house a couple of times and have talked to Sue on the phone about 3 times. Do I stay out of it? Do I call Sue and ask what's up?
I would like to just stay out of it. BUT,
I think if it were my husband acting in such a way, staying on campus late to "study" with another girl, I WOULD MOST DEFINITELY WANT TO KNOW!!!!!!!!!!
What would you do if you were me?
Labels: life and input
posted by True_Floridian Momma at 6:44 AM
3 Comments:
Oh My goodness what a sitation u have here..
Thats a hard one....
Maybe mention to Sue in passing that your hubby sees Tina and Bob together very often and they seem very close, and just ask her if she is ok that, make it seem like you might feel weird if it were your hubby...
Cant really accuse the guy of anything since so far it just seems like some sort of bond they have that may be nothing more then trying to pass class together..
But then you hate to start a wierd thing bewteen u and her as she may think its none of your buisness..
Yeah, I dont know...
But if u feel strongly about telling her that your not comfortable with the things u see between them two, then by all means tell her
I think every wife would like to know these things, but maybe not be so happy when she hears it..so be prepared for that..
Let us know how this pans out...
its a tough one..
Good Luck..
if the girl is over there at their house than it's likely the wife has seen how he acts towards "tina" and vice versa.
Just be careful. I know that's craptaculous advice but in our church in Mi. we went through this through friends. One set of friends was divorcing, and another set of friend befriended the wife. Only the husband in couple two developed a "protective" relationship- which ended making them inseparably together ALL OF THE TIME. people pointed out their concern genuinly and the one wife and the couple both left the church, caused a huge stink and abolished ALL relationships...
If this was you and Jeff, remember- you would be seeing this girl once a week. It's not like it would all be behind your back... Can you guys seek non-biased pastoral counsel/opinion on this?
Thanks ladies for commenting.
Yes, it's an extremely difficult situation and I must say we originally had dinner plans with them, that they cancelled....so I'm kinda relieved. Will keep you posted :)
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